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Want to stay alive in battle? If so,
read and heed Murphy's Laws of Combat.
Hundreds upon hundreds of tongue-in-cheek rules,
axioms, principles, and laws for American Warriors.
Separate chapters for Infantry and Aviation laws.
Special laws for unfortunate warriors who ride or
fly in helicopters.
Off duty, study Murphy's time-tested
Beer-Drinking guide. Study the rules of Sex &
Seduction. Learn how to identify pitiful people who
have contracted Politically Correct
Disease. Identify those who are certified Redneck
Warriors. Learn how to identify and avoid all
pathetic Socialists, Communists, and Liberals.
Read this ultimate guidebook for those who are
Politically In-Correct and
proud of it!
In the final 100 pages, take a
serious look at the
Heritage of the American Warrior.
Anthems of the U.S. Armed Forces, the history of
Blood Chits, Patriot Dreams, and the Legacy of Air
America. Also, General Orders, Codes to Keep,
Memorial Day, Veterans Day, Rules for Life, the
timeless Eulogy for American Warriors, and much
more.
-- PART ONE --
-- MURPHY'S LAWS
OF COMBAT --
The Origin of Murphy's Law
Murphy's Basic Laws for All Mankind
-- Murphy's General Laws
-- Murphy's Technology Laws
-- Murphy's Technological Advice
Murphy's Laws of Combat for Infantry
-- Murphy's Infantry Philosophy
-- Murphy's Infantry Tactics
-- Murphy's Infantry Precautions
-- Murphy's Infantry Ironies
-- Murphy's Barracks Wisdom
Murphy's Military Definitions for
Infantry
Murphy's Laws of Combat for Aviation
-- Murphy's Aviation Philosophy
-- Murphy's Aviation Admonitions
-- Murphy's Aviation Ironies
-- Murphy's Aviation Predictions
Murphy's Special Laws for Helicopters
-- Murphy's Helicopter Philosophy
-- Murphy's Admonitions for
Helicopter Crews
-- Murphy's Simple Rules for
Learning to Fly Helicopters
Murphy's Military Definitions for
Aviation
Murphy's Oaths of Enlistment for the
U.S. Armed Forces
-- United States Navy
-- United States Army
-- United States Air Force
-- United States Marine Corps
Murphy's Analysis: American Warriors
and Beer
Murphy's Review of Politically
Correct Disease
Murphy's Hero: "Old Blood and Guts"
Murphy's Military Superlatives
Murphy's World History: Conservatives
vs Liberals
-- Murphy's History of the World
(Early Human Society)
-- Communists, Socialists, and
Liberals
-- Core Beliefs
-- Typical Occupations
-- The Ant and the Grasshopper
(Conservatives vs Liberals)
Murphy's History of Stupidity
Murphy's Adages for Fools
Murphy's Guide to Politicians and
Government
Murphy's Laws of Lust, Sex, and
Seduction
-- The Game of Sex and Seduction
-- Warriors, Beware!
-- Living with a Woman
-- Could This Be Love?
-- The Dark Snakepit of Marriage
-- The Woman Warrior's Unique Point
of View
Murphy's Rules for Dating a Warrior's
Daughter
Murphy's Guide: The Chinese Zodiac
for Warriors
Murphy's Introduction to Redneck
Warriors
-- Social Enigmas of Redneck
Warriors
-- Home Life of Redneck Warriors
-- Sex and Redneck Warriors
-- Forbidden Fruit and Redneck
Warriors
-- Education and Redneck Warriors
-- Motor Vehicles of Redneck
Warriors
-- Personal Hygiene of Redneck
Warriors
-- Social Graces for Redneck
Warriors
Murphy's Adages for Military
Computers
Murphy's Writing Rules for Warriors
Murphy's Laws of Business and Finance
for Warriors
Murphy's "Bill of No Rights"
for Lazy Whineybabies
Murphy's Justice: Susan vs Santiago
and Emilio
Murphy's Journey: Young Warrior to
Old Veteran
--
PART TWO --
-- HERITAGE OF THE
AMERICAN WARRIOR --
Anthems of the U.S. Armed Forces and
the National Anthem
-- United States Army
-- United States Navy
-- United States Marine Corps
-- United States Air Force
-- United States of America
The History of Blood Chits
The Legacy of Air America
Days of Honor and Marble Tombs
-- Memorial Day
-- Veterans Day
-- Tomb of the Unknown Soldier
Combat Axioms for American Warriors
Patriot Dreams
Somber Reflections upon Combat
That Flag Stands for Freedom
Codes to Keep, and a Poem to Remember
-- Code of Conduct
-- General Orders
-- In Flanders Fields
The American Warrior's Rules for Life
Requiem: Eulogy for American Warriors
--
EXCERPTS --
Excerpt No. 1,
from the chapter, "Murphy's Laws of Combat for
Infantry"
. . . These time-tested laws of
combat never change, so warriors of today can learn
from fatal mistakes made by warriors of the past.
In the beginning, combatants used their fists and
teeth. Later they graduated to clubs and big
rocks. Pretty soon a sharpened stick evolved into a
spear. Then a sharpened rock, strapped onto a club,
became a sophisticated war-ax. Hi-tech! Swords and
shields followed. The longbow and arrows came next,
and later the crossbow became an even more lethal
and accurate killing machine. Then the Chinese
stumbled across gunpowder, and the rest is history.
Today the modern warrior charges
into battle armed with a dizzying array of guns,
mines, rockets, missiles, and electronic smart
weapons. He can race overland from one
battlefield to the next, protected inside his lethal
armored chariot. At his beck and call are flying
machines of incredible speed that can rain aerial
death and destruction down upon the bad guys . . .
.
Excerpt No. 2,
from the chapter, "Murphy's Laws of Combat for
Infantry"
-- Murphy's 12
Rules for Firefights --
1. Never be the idiot who shows up
armed only with a knife.
2. Bring an automatic
weapon. Better yet, bring
two.
3. Bring all your friends, with all
their automatic weapons.
4. Bring lots and lots
of ammo -- it's cheap life insurance.
5. If one of your weapons is a
handgun, make sure its caliber begins with the
numeral "4" or greater.
6. Make sure your weapons will fire
every time. If angel-pee
causes your weapons to jam, you'll be terminally
SOL.
7. Have a good plan. Have a good
back-up plan.
8. Smoke and loud noise don't kill.
Only hits count.
9. The faster you shoot the bad
guys, the less shot you will get . . . .
Excerpt No. 3,
from the chapter, "Murphy's Laws of Combat for
Aviation"
-- When in doubt, climb! No pilot
has ever collided with the sky.
-- Remember, you can only tie the
record for flying low.
-- If you absolutely must fly low,
don't fly slow.
-- Those who hoot with the owls by
night must not try to soar with the eagles by day.
-- Airspeed, Altitude, Brains. You
need at least two at all time.
-- Never forget the six most useless
things in Military Aviation:
1. The approach plates you
forgot to bring.
2. The fuel you've already
burned.
3. The airspeed you had.
4. The altitude above you.
5. The runway behind you.
6. A tenth of a second ago . .
. .
Excerpt No. 4,
from the chapter, "Murphy's Laws of Lust, Sex, and
Seduction"
-- A bachelor looks before he leaps
-- and then doesn't leap.
-- A groom is a man with his last
chance for happiness behind him.
-- Unfortunately, marriage
certificates don't have expiration dates.
-- Sooner or later, every married man
will believe in Hell -- on Earth.
-- A warrior may be a fool and not
know it -- unless he's married.
-- After a warrior marries
Miss Right, he learns that her
first name is Always.
-- Scientists have discovered a food
that decreases a woman's sex drive by 93 percent --
it's called "Wedding Cake."
-- Before his liver fails, a warrior
can never drink enough of his mother-in-law's booze
to get even . . . .
Excerpt No. 5,
from the serious Legacy Chapter,
"Codes to Keep"
. . . Combatants lived and died
in the squalor of trenches filled with knee-deep
mud, urine, and feces, and they choked on stench
from decaying corpses. A non-stop cannonade ripped
apart human bodies, and shrieks of wounded men,
writhing in filth and screaming for their mothers,
drove some soldiers insane. Rats scurried about,
feeding on the dead and on flesh of living men too
weak to defend themselves. The rats carried lice,
which in turn carried trench fever. Unspeakable
horror, misery, exhaustion, and terror became the
daily norm. Men standing face-to-face had to scream
at each other to be heard over the unending
cacophony of exploding artillery shells . . . .
Excerpt No. 6,
from the serious Legacy Chapter,
"That Flag Stands for Freedom"
(from sentencing of the
"shoe-bomber", Richard Reid, in 2003) . . . We
are not afraid of you or any of your terrorist
co-conspirators, Mr. Reid. We are Americans, and we
have been through the fire before.
. . . Look around this
courtroom. Mark it well. The world is not going to
long remember what you or I say here. But, see that
flag, Mr. Reid? That's the flag of the United
States of America. That flag will fly there long
after you are forgotten. That flag stands for
freedom! And, it always will!
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